Twitter has ingratiated itself with the Internet era so completely that there's no getting rid of it. That is, until the next popular networking craze takes hold. While tweeting (or as your dad calls it, twittering) is still the go-to cultural reference of the era, let's take advantage by posting 50 fantasy football predictions for the 2010 season. At the risk of looking foolish in six months and crazy in six years, here we go.
1) Vincent Jackson won't play a single down this year, and you'll petition your commissioner to hold next year's draft on Labor Day.
2) At least once this season, you'll jump for joy when you see Mike Williams' fantasy line on the ticker before realizing it's the other one.
3) Jabar Gaffney finishes the year as a top-20 fantasy receiver and a top-15 guy in PPR leagues. #ForgettingBrandonMarshall
4) @ShanahanHatesUrTeam Keiland Williams is the new Olandis Gary. Broncos fans know what I'm talking about.
5) Max Hall will start more games for the Cardinals than Derek Anderson and finish as a top-20 QB in fantasy points per game.
6) You will lose a game by five points or less this year in which your opposition started a garbage defense with a great matchup.
8) Kareem Huggins will win the starting running back job after an amazing September and lead the Buccaneers in yards from scrimmage.
9) Jermichael Finley will lead all tight ends in scoring, and you'll kick yourself for passing on him. #fantasybreakout
10) The 49ers defense will put up a monster season, and subsequently get drafted three rounds too high in 2011.
11) A running back will come out of nowhere to decide fantasy playoff races in December. His name is Mike Hart.
12) Shayne Graham will re-sign with the Bengals, kick five FGs against the Ravens in Week 17, and keep Baltimore out of the playoffs.
13) Bill Belichick will hire a new water boy every week. The 12th one will start at running back for the Patriots in December.
14) Mohamed Massaquoi quickly becomes Jake Delhomme's favorite target and has a breakthrough fantasy year.
15) @OGOchoCinco and @terrellowens will both beat men deep one play, and the two WRs will carry the ball into the end zone together.
16) Johnny Knox will score three TDs in Week 1, prompting the Tribune to run the headline "Opportunity Knox."
17) Fantasy owners will agonize over the choice of starting Knox or not in Week 16, start him and wish they hadn't. #RevisIsland
18) Steven Jackson will lead the Rams in receptions, and the fantasy gods will curse me by making Michael Hoomanawanui relevant.
19) In a moment of irony, Dez will hand his helmet to Roy, who will promptly drop it. Any remaining Williams owners will do the same.
20) Jerome Harrison and Arian Foster will battle all season for "Breakout RB" supremacy. Harrison will win.
21) Aaron Rodgers will throw 10 TDs in Weeks 14-16 to claim top QB status for the second straight year.
22) Pierre Garcon will go from being a pretty good WR3 to being a top 15 fantasy WR. This will surprise everyone but his fantasy owners.
23) Jamaal Charles will essentially repeat his 2009 season, making you look like a genius for acquiring him midseason.
24) The same owners that laughed at the guy that drafted Big Ben in August will be shaking their heads in December.
25) @Jones_Drew32's fantasy team will win more games than the Jacksonville Jaguars.
26) Trent Cole will lead all defensive linemen in scoring in IDP leagues. Patrick Willis and Tyvon Branch will lead LBs and DBs.
27) Four receivers will catch at least 100 passes this year: Andre Johnson, Brandon Marshall, Wes Welker and Hines Ward.
28) Matt Prater will lead all kickers in scoring. His fantasy owner will have picked him up off the wire. #draftdaytips
29) Sammie Stroughter will be Week 1's hottest waiver wire pickup. Vincent Jackson will be the week's No. 1 drop.
30) Belichick will further torment fantasy owners by employing the vaunted "TE By Committee."
31) Matthew Stafford will make the leap from being a fantasy backup to an every week starter.
32) C.J. Spiller will be huge in September and disappear for the rest of the season, making his owners wish they had sold high.
33) Ryan Mathews will win the Offensive Rookie of the Year award after receiving over 300 touches in 2010.
34) LaDainian Tomlinson will lead all Jets backs in fantasy points. The Jets will miss the playoffs.
35) The Titans will throw some option into their offense, leaving fantasy owners scrambling to get Vince Young.
36) Felix Jones and Joseph Addai will be the most disappointing non-injury related fantasy running backs of 2010.
37) Zach Miller will lead all tight ends in receptions and finish the year as a top-four fantasy tight end. #waitonaTE
38) The Saints will have a top five fantasy defense in 2010. Baltimore will not.
39) Michael Bush will have a stellar Week 16 game, rewarding the five percent of his owners that played him.
40) Kevin Kolb will exceed expectations in Philadelphia. He will not, however, meet his fantasy owner's expectations.
41) Roscoe Parrish will have three amazing fantasy games this season. You won't see any of them coming.
42) The Saints will lock up home-field advantage in Week 15, leaving owners without Brees and Colston in the championship.
43) The astute fantasy owner in your league that drafted preseason darling Victor Cruz will drop him by Week 3.
44) The Dolphins will run less Wildcat in 2010, but Ronnie Brown will stay healthy all season and be a top-10 fantasy back.
45) Hakeem Nicks will surpass Steve Smith as the Giants' No. 1 fantasy option and become a fantasy WR1.
46) Joey Galloway will have a surprisingly good fantasy year in Washington and wind up owned in all leagues by midseason.
47) Jeremy Maclin will lead the Eagles in receptions, earning every-week starting status along the way.
48) Ahmad Bradshaw will out-score Brandon Jacobs by all measures this year. Bradshaw will finish the year as a top-15 RB.
49) Seven different commentators will say that Peyton Hillis "has a little Mike Alstott in him." Hillis will score five TDs in 2010.
50) You will tweet about winning your fantasy football league this year. #truth